2 stories, fused into one.
when i was in high school i was caught up in some quintessential teenage drama. i don’t remember exactly what it was but i am sure it revolved around immature girls who were supposed to be friends but weren’t comfortable in their own skin so they made trouble for everyone else. i was supposed to be friends with these girls but for some reason found myself swimming in drama; i fled to the refuge of home:
intermingled with sobs and the kind of breathing where you have been crying for a long time and you have to keep catching your breath, “i just don’t know what happened or why they aren’t being nice to me.”
my mom has always kept a mellow tone, always, “things will sort out, love; they always do.”
“it’s just not fair, IT’S NOT FAIR!!! i thought they were my friends!!”
“kam, do you know how many friends i have? really true, good, friends?”
not sure where she was going to or how this was all relevent to the current trauma of my depleting popularity status, i quivered, “no. how many?”
“i can count them on one hand. i have 5 true friends.”
my teenage heart thought a whole slew of friends equalled popularity and happiness; i immediately felt sorry for her. “oh, i’m sorry mom!”
she laughed, because she knew i had a lot of understanding to conjure still, “no, kam. it’s a good thing that i only have that many. what i am trying to say is that sometime in your life you will get to a point where you are able to see who your true friends are, and they will be consistent and always loving and kind. they will know who you are and will respect that. they will always be there when you need them, will never judge you, will lift you up and will even sometimes carry you when are at your lowest point. they will make you laugh, will be quick to forgive, they will support your dreams and believe in your spirit, they will make you feel accepted and loved no matter what, and will never make you feel the way you do now! i have 5 of those kinds of friends. they are called true friends. one day you will find your true friends too. in the mean time don’t waste your time and energy on something that brings you down and makes you so sad; it’s not worth it!!”
the next story…
same setting: high school, physiology class. i don’t know if this is true now that i think about it, but it got all of the girls’ attention in the room and maybe that’s what our teacher needed! he was explaining that the reason we wear rings on our left ring finger is because there is a vein that goes directly to the heart. all the young girls swooned considering their futures and who would place the ring on the finger with the vein to the heart. my teacher was a joker, and reflecting back am not sure if that was true at all, but it got us to listen and that’s what he needed.
fusion of the two stories…
what my mom told me years ago has proven true. it’s not about having a lot of friends and acquaintances. it’s about having a core group of people who know you, care about you and accept you for who you are, no matter what.
and fact or fiction what my physiology teacher said is cool to think about.
this is my ring finger friend, joy.
so grateful for her friendship, support, and love.
i love her and her little family very much!!
she’s an example of a mom who loves with all her heart!
(rebecca was just in an alice in wonderland shoot; she was alice. joy wanted to shoot a few with her in her alice dress before she is too big to wear it. pretty fantastic color, right? i loved it!!! that’s something else i love about joy: she provides her daughters with so many opportunities for them to stretch their wings and find themselves. it inspires me!!)
joy and her man, another someone she loves so deeply and truly. their love story is such a good one!!
i wish we were closer in proximity, and at the same time i know that we aren’t that far at all. i am so grateful for you joy! thank you for touching my life for being one of my dear friends. my heart is full for you and yours!! thank you for being so true! love you, kj