Kamee June Photography » Blog

jaren and i feel we are hanging on to gun’s innocence in regards to christmas by a thread. he still wholeheartedly believes and is totally motivated by the “you better behave or i will call santa; i have him on speed dial” schtick! but there are enough kids on the playground sharing their thoughts on the myths of the holiday that have him questioning for sure!! i still believes, but has started the questions for sure and in the meantime we carry on with the elf on the shelf and the mystical north pole, and yada yada yada, and we all LOVE it!!! i will admit that even when i was let in on the secret of the holiday i still wanted to believe in my heart that there really was a santa claus. i like to image that there really is, it’s sweet to think of, when you think of it, jolly man, elves that do his bidding, fresh baked cookies at a whim, cozy year long fire, being a part of the most favorite and celebrated time of year, not a bad gig.

during the holidays jaren and i both wish for much cooler temps and just for the month of december, literally december 1 it falls and dec 31 it is swept away, we wish for snow!! our kids have yet to see, and fell, and dance in and lie in, and make angels, in real snow!

a few days ago we dropped homework and other responsibilities to make a little bit of magic, and hopefully a memory or two.

gun and lark, you two are magic to me!! i love you, mom

fake snow at target: $2.50

making it snow with my children: priceless

and because of these two i will keep the magic alive as long. as. i. can.

about a year ago i got together with a colleague and friend of mine, renee hindman, happens to inspire me on so many levels. she is a mom first and a photographer second, but she tries to shoot something once a month that is just for her kids. i love listening to her stories of all the shoots she has put together for her girls! it has inspired me to want to do more with mine! to make memories for them, of them. renee and i are starting an annual october shoot. last year we did the pumpkin patch with a charlie brown infusion.

this year we let our little spooks “haunt” the carriage house. next year, well, you’ll have to wait and see!! ;)

doesn’t matter the shoot; pictures of my littles are invaluable to me! i love these images and these two so very much!! and i especially love the memories we are making while they are so little!! i can hear them playing “haunted house” right now with their friends. it’s making me smile; i want their childhoods to be so filled with so many fond things!

gunnar and larkin, you hold my heart!!! i love you both so much!! xxoo mom

the next two? i love ‘em!

oh my boy, you are getting so big, so handsome, and are so sweet!! stay that way, forever please!!!

right about here lark decided she had had enough of haunting that house. and even though she was alive she was making sounds that would wake the dead:

i love you both so much my little spooks; my life would be scary without you!! ;) xoxo mom

it kind of wigs me out (in a good and amazing sense of wiggin’) that a human body can conceive another human body.

and that that little human can be born, and breath, and live, and grow.

what really wigs me out is how fast it all happens.

how really fast it all is happening.

this was last year. the day before starting 1st grade:

and this was how wise and even more handsome he had waxed by the end of the first legit year of school:

and this (insert serious wiggin’) is where he sat on our back porch on the eve of 2nd grade.

it is amazing to me what summer sun does to the weeds.

gunnar, watching you grow is one of my life’s most profound gifts. i love you. so much. everything about you is my favorite:

may you keep growing: tall, strong, wise, kind, understanding, and good both in heart and nature. may you always know that you  are loved, by many, and that home is always safe!

may you know you got your looks from your mother! ;) ha!!

and may you always have a certain spirit of youth about you, no matter how old you grow:

same rules apply cowboy:

be nice. to everyone.

be the friend you would want to have.

listen.

learn.

stretch.

grow.

and remember: poo and pee jokes really aren’t that awesome.

we love you. more than words, space, or time will ever comprehend.

go now. take on 2nd grade. we’ll be here to see it all happen and will be proud of you every moment on the way!

before i know it i’ll turn around and see this face in this cap, even though in reality the face will be 11 years older, perhaps a bit tanner from summer sun’s and swims, but still as sweet and loving as it is today, right now.

gunnar, you are my greatest accomplishment son! nothing i will ever do will compare to you or larkin! may you know and remember that, always!!!

i’ll be out front of the school waiting for you. waiting to hear all about the first day of the 2nd grade!! i love you, mom

it’s important for you to know that i hate to be cold. hate it. i don’t particularly like to be blazing hot either. like most i choose a happy, comfortable, 78 degrees. i don’t like being cold because when i am i get chilled to the bone and then i stay that way all day. i have to take a hot bath and sit by a fire to even come close to being comfortable. i’m hyperbolizing, but you get the point: i don’t like to be cold.

keep all that in mind.

several years ago larkin was enrolled in a mommy and me swim class. we went once a week. i looked forward to the time with her, and the great nap she always gave me on swim days! i did not, however, look forward to swim class with lark for one reason: getting out of the pool. i was immediately chilled and i stayed that way for the rest of the day.

there were several mommies in our class and we would chat casually while our kids played. there was one i was particularly magnetized to. probably because she laughed at every running commentary i had about my daughter and her “swimming” abilities.

one lesson, i had had enough of feeling cold when i got out of the pool (i know it sounds silly, but hopefully you will understand on some level.) during play time i asked the instructor, “how old does larkin have to be to have lessons on her own? i mean how much longer until i don’t HAVE to get in the pool.” you would have thought i had just dropped a bunch of gnarly swears into the aquatic zone pool. all of the mommy except one (my friend, who was laughing her arse off) looked at me as if my suit had just materialized two scarlet letters: bm (BAD MOMMY). i had been marked as the mommy and me swim class pariah. i mean how could i possibly NOT want to be in the pool with my precious little one, during this time that is so fleeting, so special. why wouldn’t i want to be with her? swim with her? hang with her? i did! i was just sick of feeling so cold when getting out of the pool!!!!

i have to laugh now, boisterously, when i tell that story. it was such a classic moment for me of being so misunderstood by what i said and meant to say and how it was taken and internalized. i really didn’t care what those other moms thought. just thought it was funny, the reaction. i knew though, in that moment, that nancy was one of my people. she thought it was funny. she laughed with me, and the rest is aquatic zone history.

shortly after that class we took a break from swim. not because i had been shunned by all but one, but because i was just tired of being so cold.  i decided to wait out on swim lessons until lark could get in by herself with the instructor (we just started up again a few weeks ago. i love staying dry and at a normal temp!! and watching both of my fish from the sidelines!!)

from that time a great friendship developed! nancy and i shared so many common interests; it was nice to find a friend with so much compassion and understanding. it wasn’t long before we discovered that our businesses were complimentary; we started collaborating and working together whenever we could. and have since. i appreciate her friendship and talent profoundly. i am so grateful to the aquatic zone. it brought me nancy.

nancy is a talent non-paralled. she amazes me. i could sit and talk to her about flowers, their origins, fragrances, symbolic meanings, when to have them in your home, when to not, what goes together well, what doesn’t. she knows everything about them; she also knows how to match flowers with people. it’s uncanny. she can create a bouquet that matches a personality perfectly. it’s phenomenal. if you are currently looking for a florist for any of your life’s events, nancy is the one you need to meet.  you will meet her once and then want to meet her every week for the rest of your life. she makes you feel like you are the only person that matters, the only person who exists when she’s with you. she looks at you like she does flowers: she appreciates all their unique designs and charm.

i have so many nancy favorites to spotlight (not that she needs any spotlighting here; she is getting some very much deserved and noted press on many wedding blogs due to her spark, charm, and talent!!), but i thought i would share this one first. i loved the color pops and contrasts.

such a great blend of color, texture, and fragrance.

cake should be served on this plate, for sure. preferably wedding cake! ;) not only is she incredible with flowers, but she’s also quite handy with design and decorating!!

the flowers on a wedding day have swiftly become one of my favorite details. really, so much goes into them. so much thought to make them perfect and customized to the bride and the wedding theme.

nancy is a floral shakespeare. i want her lyrical poetry to be in my home, fresh, each day.

everything she touches is magic. everything.

and because i know she is dying to see…here are a few from our most recent collaboration: portraits of her and her son, bass. i respect her so much as a mother. she is balancing so much right now, sacrificing so much too, to be an entrepreneur and mom. i am infinitesimally inspired by her grace to take on all of the challenges of raising a baby on her own, and nurturing a thriving business.

just a few of my favorites:

love this one:

and this one; who am i kidding? i LOVE them all!!!

my mom calls that spot right behind your babies’ ears the sugar bowl. looks like a good sugar bowl kiss to me, right nanc? ;)

another fav, for sure:

nanc, i am so grateful for the aquatic zone. can’t pass by it, or even go to it without counting my lucky stars for it!! so happy we had that same mommy and me class. so happy you laughed at my jokes. so happy to have you in my life! thank you, from my heart, for being my friend; i am grateful. thank you for speaking to my creative spirit, with your amazing gifts and talents; i am blessed to see beauty through you!! i am so inspired by the sacrifices you make to support your son and still follow your dreams!! cheers to you nancy, and all you do!! much love friend, kj

for those of you looking for a very chic, and fashion forward florist, you  MUST check out nancy work and book her for your next event, or wedding! you will not be disappointed. her work is other-worldy, and from the moment you meet you will have a friend for life!! check her out here: oak and the owl and follow her most recent work here on her blog.

“i met the queen. it was the nicest thing. i can’t believe it.” –paul gross

homecoming queen

prom queen

queen of england

drag queen

queen bee

queen of hearts

queen of our hearts. here’s to our little queen of everything!

larkee, you are by far the most valuable treasure of all!! love you, fair one!! xoxo the other queen of the house!! ;)

my life has been hectic lately. to say the least. it’s been up and down. on and off. in and out. here and there. hot and cold. bitter and sweet.

every dichotomy you can possibly image…

my boy turns seven in a few weeks. it is so cliche, but so true, to say, “i can’t believe it; where has the time gone?” with every turn of the day, with every pass of the year. i fall more and more in love with my children. i have idyllic reveries of their childhoods and the memories they will carry with them of said time. it’s important to me they are filled with vivid and magical moments of their youth. i need them to remember this time, for some reason, it’s very important to me that they are making memories of being a child!

even though i try very hard to create beautiful memories for them, their lives’ journeys enter and we have to make certain decisions to ensure they are still living and growing well. i do wish they had been born with user’s manuals attached to their feet. right now i would be in the section of gunnar’s manual that best explains how to cope with his obsessive compulsive habits and his anxiety disorders. my boy is in the thick of a tough time, we all are, because, no matter what, we are in this together. we are educating ourselves, talking with professionals, and working on the best approaches for him, and us, to take! i tell him every day that he will “be ok!” i am saying it audibly to him, but i know in my head i am saying, “we will ALL be ok. all of this will be ok.” i know it will. i know we will get it sorted, but somedays it’s just so hard when you see a piece of you struggling so desperately to be happy.

as parents we really only want two things: that our children know they are loved and that they are comfortable in their own skins. everything stems from those two beliefs, at least that’s what i believe. some days, especially lately, i have wanted to jump inside that little boy’s skin and fill him with extra love and confidence so it extends to the very tips of his fingers and toes. i have wanted to speak understanding and compassion so closely to his heart and head. i have wanted to remind him so profoundly that NO MATTER WHAT we are going to figure this all out and that he will, for sure, BE OK!!

we love him. we all love him so much.

it’s the hardest job, isn’t it: being a parent and not always knowing what to do, but hoping that what you choose to do is the best choice for your people. i know he is such a good boy who wants to understand what’s going on inside his body and his head!

every day i wake up and in the stillness of the house wonder, “what will happen today? how will he react to this or that today? how long will my patience last today? will he know, today, he is safe and so loved?” and then he comes into my room, pulls back the covers, and snuggles close to me. and i drink him in, and breath his innocent sweetness, and i tell him and myself, “everything today, will be ok.”

and i hug him so hard he tells me to stop. but i don’t. because i just have to feel so close to him. i have to somehow show him he is not alone and never will be.

gun, you, your life, even what you are experiencing, though it is hard to believe, is a gift. i know it feels so hard to understand, but one day you will have clarity, we all will. for now, we will take it all a day at a time, knowing we have each other, and that everything will sort itself out, and be ok. this is the fabric and texture of your life. it’s who you are, and even though it’s tough and it makes you feel sad and alone, YOU ARE NOT!!! you are so loved by so many people son especially me, dad, and lark! we are going to sort it all out and you will, i promise, be ok! i love you, to the moon and back, and if that’s how far we go to get this stuff understood then that’s how far we go, together!

i love you son, so much!

love you too, lark! you are such a sweet baby who who has been so mellow during this time; thank you for loving your brother through it all and for reminding him you love him!

i love this image, of my bed. ;) the timer went off but the focus wasn’t quit right. doesn’t matter, really. could be considered symbolic of the whole experience we are in right now, nonetheless, i love it:

thanks for reading. it feels, actually, so good to have cried a bit and to have shared!

now i think i will shower and brush my teeth, those two things will feel good too. ;) and on the way to the basin i will pass my boy playing legos. i will stop for a minute, look him in the eyes and say, “everything will be ok. i love you more than you will ever know!” then i’ll plant one wherever he’ll let me!!