I am working on a project. These two are helping me. This is just one from our fun day of shooting in Palm Springs. A whole string of these are coming soon and the release of something BIG!!! I am smiling; I am so happy!!!
Just one for now. xxx KJ
jaren and i feel we are hanging on to gun’s innocence in regards to christmas by a thread. he still wholeheartedly believes and is totally motivated by the “you better behave or i will call santa; i have him on speed dial” schtick! but there are enough kids on the playground sharing their thoughts on the myths of the holiday that have him questioning for sure!! i still believes, but has started the questions for sure and in the meantime we carry on with the elf on the shelf and the mystical north pole, and yada yada yada, and we all LOVE it!!! i will admit that even when i was let in on the secret of the holiday i still wanted to believe in my heart that there really was a santa claus. i like to image that there really is, it’s sweet to think of, when you think of it, jolly man, elves that do his bidding, fresh baked cookies at a whim, cozy year long fire, being a part of the most favorite and celebrated time of year, not a bad gig.
during the holidays jaren and i both wish for much cooler temps and just for the month of december, literally december 1 it falls and dec 31 it is swept away, we wish for snow!! our kids have yet to see, and fell, and dance in and lie in, and make angels, in real snow!
a few days ago we dropped homework and other responsibilities to make a little bit of magic, and hopefully a memory or two.
gun and lark, you two are magic to me!! i love you, mom
making it snow with my children: priceless
one of my girlfriends always teases me about how i love to shoot and post pictures of my children sleeping. i always joke back, “i like them best that way!” ;)
i do love how quiet and still they are. how their chests move in rhythm with their breath. i love to see how big they look in their beds all stretched out and relaxed, their bodies tall and healthy, their hearts strong and happy. if i look closely enough i think i see them growing, right in front of me; my eyes play tricks, but it still makes me smile, and at the same time there is a twinge of sadness, because it is all just going so fast!
the old adage really is true: they do really grow so quickly!!
lark turns four today. tomorrow she will turn 16, then i will turn around and she will be graduating from high school and heading to harvard with a full scholarship. then she’ll be studying abroad and applying to grad programs. while abroad she’ll find work with a top fashion agency that will always give us the leftover season samples. she will fall madly in love with a fortune 500 genius who will all set us up for early retirement and will purchase us homes, next door to each other, in the hampton’s. where we will spend the rest of our days watching lark’s children, our grandchildren, grow as quickly as she did while we pick and eat wild grapes, watch every lazy day’s lazy sunset, and play interminable games of monopoly. ;)
her future, (as i see it ;)) is all going to happen so fast.
i was talking to my dad the other day on the phone. after covering all the basics: health, business, children’s developmental skills and behavior, weather, holiday plans, and politics, i got a little emotional when he asked how i was doing. i was coming out of my 4th really tough mommy day so i broke down a bit and told him that it was just hard being a mom right now. i was speaking the truth. it’s the hardest job, mommy-ing. you work over time every day without pay, never get any sick days, rarely get to be alone to finish one cohesive thought in your head (including your basic level of human need: visiting the bathroom. that always includes at least two additional small people who feel that exact moment of time is best to discuss their basic human needs.), and the benefits, although they are there, can be hard to see at times.
my dad told me i was doing a good job, and that i was the best mom to larkin and gunnar.
that’s what i needed to hear.
although the greatest challenge, it is also the greatest gift.
i loved year three with lark. so much. it was so fun. her personality started to really emerge. she started talking in full and complete sentences, which was really cool (and now she just doesn’t stop talking at all! ;)).
she’s in her room right now playing with her best little friend. i can hear them singing, giggling, and imaging all sorts of great things for themselves and the five extra “friends” they have created that are “in” the room with them too. it’s the sweetest sound and is making me smile!
i love you! we all do! you add so much glitter and charisma to our family! you are sass, sunshine, and sparkle all rolled into one spirited body; you really are sass-tastic!! i love how much you love to shop, dress-up, do make-up and nails; you are so feminine, so pink, and so very pretty!! you are the sweetest part of every one of my days, and i love being with you!! can’t wait for year four!! love you, baby!!
xxoo mom, dad, and gun
here’s to all the memories we are making; may we hold on to them forever! happy birthday, my love!
it kind of wigs me out (in a good and amazing sense of wiggin’) that a human body can conceive another human body.
and that that little human can be born, and breath, and live, and grow.
what really wigs me out is how fast it all happens.
how really fast it all is happening.
this was last year. the day before starting 1st grade:
may you know you got your looks from your mother! ;) ha!!
be nice. to everyone.
be the friend you would want to have.
and remember: poo and pee jokes really aren’t that awesome.
we love you. more than words, space, or time will ever comprehend.
go now. take on 2nd grade. we’ll be here to see it all happen and will be proud of you every moment on the way!
before i know it i’ll turn around and see this face in this cap, even though in reality the face will be 11 years older, perhaps a bit tanner from summer sun’s and swims, but still as sweet and loving as it is today, right now.
gunnar, you are my greatest accomplishment son! nothing i will ever do will compare to you or larkin! may you know and remember that, always!!!
i’ll be out front of the school waiting for you. waiting to hear all about the first day of the 2nd grade!! i love you, mom
“i met the queen. it was the nicest thing. i can’t believe it.” –paul gross
queen of england
queen of hearts
queen of our hearts. here’s to our little queen of everything!
it’s surreal when the doctor finds a heartbeat. another heart besides your own beating inside of you. there is nothing like that moment. nothing at all. you couldn’t feel it, but the resonations through your doctor’s machine made the new life you hoped for a reality.
my little boy’s heart has been metaphorically hurting lately; has been having a really difficult time with his anxiety. it’s been taxing on the whole family and for sure has me and his dad worried. to be completely honest it has my heart sad. today has been the hardest day by far. he asked if he could sleep with me tonight until his dad got home from school (jaren is getting his mba right now). i pulled the covers over and told him to jump in bed and “snuggle me”. we visited for a bit, talk about what we would name bugs if we could create them, talk about school tomorrow, and some of the things that are floating around in his handsome six-year-old head. he’s asleep now, i just put my hand on his chest to feel his heart beating. i don’t hear it like the first time, i feel it, on every level possible to a mother. i wish i could take all of his heartache away. i would. no questions. no thought. being a parent is for sure the hardest job. ever.
and the most rewarding.
we will work through this time with gun. we’ll figure things out and get him settled. he is such a good boy, with such a sweet heart. i love him. i love both of my children, beyond words, beyond description. they are for sure, my greatest accomplishments. as hard as parenthood can be sometimes it’s also such a gift! in fact i get so excited when i hear that friends or family, neighbors or old acquaintances are having babies. there is just something so incredible about the thought of a new life. i love to consider that new little person: what will he be, what will he do? what will he make of his life? how will he change the lives of others?
when laura told me she and david were having a baby, i couldn’t stop smiling. these two have become family to me! i love that i have been able to be a part of their most monumental life moments! their wedding was so special to be a part of, and, now, they are welcoming a new part of themselves into this world and their life. she is so lucky. they are going to be such mild-mannered, patient, and kind parents. she will be so understood, so cared for, and so deeply and profoundly loved. david and laura are lucky too. even though she isn’t here yet, she has already changed them, and she will continue to do so for years and years to come.
and when she comes into their room at night, needing to “snuggle” they will feel her heart beating through her chest, and offer a silent prayer of gratitude that she exists, and is theirs. just like i did tonight as i held gunnar close.
laura and david, i love you both so much! i am so thankful you exist in my life!! thank you for sharing your greatest moments and your hearts with me!! i can’t wait to meet your newest love!!! here’s to you both and to all the excitement that 2012 holds!!
oh, the sweetness of pink.
laura and david, may you remember everything from this time: the excitement, energy, and emotion that lead to a birth day you anticipated for longer than you could remember! so happy for you both! so excited to be a part of it all!! much love to you both, to all three of you actually!! ;) xxoo kj